Winkys Linkies I

Website: www.freerice.com

Summary: Improve your vocabulary and help feed kids in Africa at the same time.

Addictivity: 9/10

Fun while High?: 8/10

Fun while Drunk?: 1/10

Winky Review: If you find yourself wasting hours upon hours every day surfing the web then this is the site for you. Now you can finally waste time while actually improving skills that could help you do better on a paper or sound smarter when talking to girls. The basic premise is that you must define a word based on 4 other words that are presented. If you pick the right word, the advertisers will pay for 10 grains of rice to be donated through the United Nations or some jazz like that. You make be thinking advertisers, omg spam, omg popups. However that is not the case, the advertisers can only be seen as icons near the bottom of the screen. Once you get into the zone you don't even notice them. The fun part of the site is trying to improve your vocabulary level that is shown at the bottom of the screen. Words also repeat over an extended period of time which reinforces them even more. Overall this is an excellent site and a great alternative to facebook for killing time.

A Day in the Life (Of Little Winky)

Now that Winky has his perverted blog he thinks hes the shit. Well thats bull shit, I can summarize the events of my day just as easy as that goof. Thats all he does, summarize shit we already know and add stupid shit to it. Well now its my turn, heres my story. A day in the life of the little guy that makes every day worth living.

So Winky decided to wake up at 8 today... as fucking usual. Well hey the least I can do is piss him off by being rock hard for the next half hour. Lets see if he balls up and goes back to sleep, maybe I'll drop it to 15 if he hits that snooze button.

Scratch that, this guys determined today. Whatever at least he'll wash me for the first time in the last 3 days. Does he really think that rubbing shampoo all over me is going to make me clean. Shampoo is for hair, not whiskers that used to be pubes.

Um Yeah, you didn't tihnk you were gonna get to pee in the shower today did you Winky? I'm gonna be hard for at least another 20 minutes so better luck next time you big homo. Seriously do you even pay attention to me? All I want is a girl to gently stroke me and all you do is study for your stupid biology test that was last night. I mean shouldn't you know this stuff, you are a biology major... aren't I biology? You better put yourself out there this weekend and try to get some pussy or else I'm going to ruin you.

Yeah I'm still hard and you still have to wash your feet. Don't even think about touching me. I'm sick of your shit Winky and I'm not having any of this today. Seriously, until you get a girl to touch me I am going just sit here and annoy the fuck out of you. I'm going to itch at the most inconvenient times and get hard you are sitting on the cambus with hot girls all around.

Ok, it's been 25 minutes and I'm tired of poaching all of your blood. I'll give some back so that you can do good on your stats test today.

Now it's time to get dressed. Um... What the hell are you doing Winky? Put those whitey tighties back, thats right, I need to breathe too. I'd recommend the 8 ball boxers. They are smooth, nonabrasive, and it makes me feel young again. There ya go, you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.

That feels great, alright now it looks like Winky is getting something to drink. I only caught a glimpse but it looked like a can of Monster. Doesn't that stuff have chemicals that make your me smaller? Maybe that was just a rumor from elementary school. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe Winky doesn't love me anymore. Maybe I have to show him that I'm mad at him. K, I'll do that.

Wow these boxers are awesome, note to self, make Winky buy more cool boxers that make me feel good. Exxxxxcellent, Winky is riding the bus over to the BioScience Library to study. If the conditions are right I think I can pull this off. I'm going to give Winky a NRB (No Reason boner). He thinks theres no reason for it but there always is, you just have to look hard (pun intended). Game plan for now is to get rock hard right by the IMU so that Winky has to try to Texas Tuck before he gets out at the Pentacrest in front of hot girls.

Damn Winky is getting smoother. It's almost creepy how quickly he flipped the elastic on me. This is really uncomfortable but I've gotta hand it to Winky, he got me good. Whatever, I'll leave him alone for a couple minutes and let him get some studying done.

30 minutes later Winky is on the computer doing biostats problems. Winky stop being a fag and look at hot girls at facebook. Seriously, how is you studying formulas that they give you on the test going to help you bone hot girls? Not at all, girls don't like formulas they like weeners and boners. Nice, those girls are hot dude. Maybe you should talk to that girl sitting next to you. Even though shes a 4/10 she looks like she has tiny clown hands. Those could be cool in a weird fucked up kind of way. Annnd she has the same book as you! Shes studying for the same test as you. Damn small world huh, it has to be fate that she has a vagina and is in your same class and is studying right next to you.

Whaaaaaaaat? You're not gonna talk to her? You lame piece of shit what if she has a question about a problem on the practice test? What if she just broke up with her boyfriend and needs weener right now. Ok that was a stupid and improbable idea but you could probably help her out. Girls suck at math anyways and I bet shes dying for you to tell her that you raise it to e to find the CI.

If your not gonna talk to this broad then I'm gonna talk to my buddy Rectum and put you into a world of hurt. Thats right, theres no bathroom in the bioscience library. I'm gonna make you walk to Phillips Hall you dickless pussy. Damn its kinda cold outside, good thing these undies are warm and cozy. Too bad I shrink anyways. Maybe Winks should just stop shaving me every 5 days with that stupid pink shaver thing.

I think I'm going to get half hard so that I piss Winky off when he's trying to poop. What a great idea, not a full blown boner but instead an anti-boner that will make peeing a big hassle. Mission accomplished, we should be in the bathroom in like 30 seconds.

OMG wtf is that smell? Is that yack? It's fucking 12 o clock, why would someone be yacking at 12 o clock? Jesus Christ a kid is fucking yacking in the toliet. Great there are only 2 stalls and I need to rid myself of yellow #5. Winky, we should get the fuck out of her man. This isn't our place. Wait you don't know any other bathrooms? So what if we have to walk 5 minutes to Macbride hall, I can't deal with a guy throwing up into a toliet while I'm doing my business. Ok fine, I'll stop trying to piss you off by getting hard at inconveneint times as long as you get the fuck out of this bathroom as fast as possible. Deal.

Sweet, alright Winks you seem like a pretty good guy. I understand where your coming from, you need some space and I'm totally cool with that. I'll give you some space for the weekend you know, just so we can keep this relationship going. But just an FYI, when you are done with Thanksgiving Break I expect you to get out there and get some pussy. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. I kinda like you Winks, I'll leave you alone for the rest of the day. Good luck on your biostats tests.

@ the Lib

Gots a test for Bio and Biostats on Thursday and Friday so I went to the main lib to hit the books. I fing love the main library. Theres so many people there that I always end up seeing at least 3 other people that I know. I used to think of this as a positive but now i've realized that I get a lot more shiz done when I'm up on the 5th floor by myself. Other thing I like is that theres really nothing else for me to do but study so thats what I do. So I went to the usual spot near the middle of the 5th floor and started reading my bio book. On the way to my spot I saw my bio lab partner studying for the Bio test. He's a cool kid but as I said before, I don't want anyone fucking with my shit while I'm studying. So I really awkwardly tried to hide my face with my notebook.

I was in the zone for like a half hour when this inconsiderate pack of obnoxious girls decide to congregate in the chairs 20-30 feet behind me. Why in the hell do you even go to the library if you are just gonna yell to your friends that are sitting immediately next to you about what happened this weekend. Ok so I sat there for like 5 minutes sizing up the situation. There was one girl who was clearly exhibiting her alpha female status over the group by yelling and controlling the overall pace of the conversation. She talked for about 80 percent of the time and I'm pretty sure all the other girls fucking hated her. Not only that, but she made her self look sooooo fucking lame in front of the whole floor.

She talked to one of her friends about her drinking escapades this weekend. I listened to the entire fucking story and felt like I was back in high school. "OMGZZZ I was soooo drunk that I just ate chex mix on the couch for like evvvver!" Then she explained how, "my parents are toooooootally cool with me drinking in college its like omg so cool." Maybe she goes to Iowa City high or something because this girl was clearly of sophmore in high school maturity level. After listening to her conversation for at least 10-15 minutes I was beginning to develop some sort of a non-verbal communication with the guy and girl studying across the hall. Whenever she would say something absolutely hilarious like, "OMG Roeper, the THUMBS UP THUMBS DOWN GUY!" we would kind of just look over at each other and giggle then nod our heads as a sign acknowledgement. I'm telling you I was downright entertained by this girl. The group left after like an hour and the guy next to me verbally thanked them for peacing.

So now I got to get some studying done. I was reading about endotherms, ectotherms, ecology and a bunch of shit about animals. It really got me thinking. I'm really interested in this shit. I'm thinking I may try to get like an internship at a zoo or something this summer. That or maybe I will just play Pokemon a lot. I also had an epiphany while I was walking back from the library. If I had one wish from a genie it would be that Pokemon were real. Fuck all the money in the world, you can't make pokemon real with a badfsflieillion dollars. I think I would be really good at catching and training Pokemon in real life. I could also probably make a badfsflieillion dollars from catching rare Pokemon and selling them to Bill Gates/Donald Trump.

Things of today

I was just surfing the web today and I came across one of 2 Xtremes favorite pornos. Check it out here. (No nudity/poop/throw up/sex scenes) Pretty cool I thought, I figure 2 Xtreme and the girl in the video would be 100 percent compatible on eHarmony.

Not too many interesting events happened this weekend. At least that I can recall. Went down to Peoria for the state cross country meet to watch former high school take the crown. Props to Chris Derrick for a new course record of 13:52 for the 3 mile course. Unbelievable.

I've got a couple mid terms coming up so that's why I haven't been able to update as much. I've got some good ideas for some new entries that should be out by around Tuesday, so look out for that. Paece.