2 Xtremes 1st Cigarette at age 2 ^
1. Kid that just picked up smoking cigarettes
I love this kid. He can be seen lighting up immediately after leaving the dorms. It will usually take him around 30 seconds to light his cig, and another half minute to keep it lit. He will ALWAYS be smoking Marlboro Lights. These diamonds in the rough are sometimes hard to spot. They will usually be attempting to hid the cigarette in their left hand. If you really want to try to spot these creatures in the wild then wait till you smell some cigarette smoke then quickly look down and scan the left hands of those in front of you. This little trick always works because "kid that just picked up smoking cigarettes" has no fucking clue that everyone walking behind him wants to push him into the Iowa River for blowing smoke right into everyones face.
2. Kid that blows hard at crossing the street
Fuck this kid. Take off your fucking Ipod and have a look around at this thing we call the world. Just because you can't hear the cars doesn't mean they don't exist. Do you honestly think that it's ok to cross the street 20 seconds after the walk sign has been replaced by the don't walk sign? It's not. And you should also realize that just because you are wearing birkenstock sandals, a messenger bag and a Death Cab for Cutie T shirt does not mean that you are entitled to force everyone in their cars to wait an extra 15 seconds on a green light for your indie ass to get across Madison Street.
3. Kid that sits by same girl every single lecture.
This is one of those situations where I just feel completely awful. Random jacked black dude sits next to same cute (not hot, cute), innocent, blond girl in every lecture. No matter where she sits, he follows her and proceeds to NOT talk to her at all. How weird is that? What can you even do in that situation? The guy is just completely clueless and the girl is probably just hoping he hasn't found out where she lives yet. I can only giggle at this situation. That and thank god that I was blessed with a Y chromosome.
4. Guy/girl who is like 30+ and still in undergrad classes
Another awkward and not even really funny situation. The only really funny part is how fing weird these guys are. There can never be a normal old guy, they all have some flaw. It may be massive amounts of facial hair, attempting to answer the easiest questions with a complicated response, or trying to exhibit alpha male status over the class as they are "older" than the TA. No matter what, old guy/girl will try to act normal; sadly they will never be accepted because they saw the fall of the Berlin wall while we only read about it.
5. Random ass goof that is in a Frat
I absolutely heart these guys. I feel like a little part of me dies every single time I see the most antistereotypical frat guy walking to class wearing a Greek shirt. 90% of my other stereotypes are right, these guys are just statistical anomalies. You can usually tell who these guys are by what they talk about. I usually eavesdrop on these guys at the bus stop or even on the bus so I can be further enlightened of their mysterious ways. I'd say half the time they can be heard saying something to the extent of, "Damn bro if we knew the bus was gonna take this long we could of gotten in another game of SMASH." Its usually a safe bet to assume you have spotted a random ass frat goof or Froof if you see a pack of 4-5 guys, 2-3 of whom are slightly obese, wearing at least 1 high school football shirt and or 1-2 bar crawl t-shirts.
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