Monday, October 29, 2007

Awkward Bus Stop Moment




I was out from around 5:30 until 7:30 trying to get my Halloween costume. Didn't find anything but Drew ended up coming through in the clutch. I guess I learned that I should call people before I go out aimlessly and attempt to find a bunch of random costume shit all over Coralville/Iowa City. Oh well, not too pissed off since earlier I found out my Bio test is next thursday as opposed to this one.

Anyways, after this escapade I made it back to the hawklot with Seans car at about 7:15 so I had 15 minutes till the bus came. I had to pee like a fucking madman. I think I may have an enlarged prostate. Isn't that not supposed to happen till you are like 50? I don't think I could bring this kind of problem up to a doctor so i'll prob just start wearing diapers. So I get out of Seans Purpleish (color-blind) Honda Accord and decide to let it out before I get to the bus stop. I didn't want to be gross I just didn't see a bathroom nearby. I saw someone in a car like 200-250m away so I decided to just pee in my empty VitaminWater bottle. That isn't public urination in my book.

I thought about throwing the water bottle at some stupid car I may come across but decided I need karma on my side for at least another day. Besides, my pee smells worse than other peoples pee. So I just set the water bottle down for some other poor soul to deal with. Then I walked to the bus stop and tryed to change my voicemail thing that people hear when I don't answer the phone. It wouldn't seem like a difficult thing to change but it got me into a very emotional state.

I was standing there chilling for like 5-7 minutes. Some gross hick girls pull up in an old Mitsu and ask what time the bus comes. I first check them out for a good 3-4 seconds, I decide they are at best 4/10 and tell them I am not sure but soon. In reality I wasn't sure when the bus came, but if a hot girl would have asked I would have told her 7:30-33, this much I am sure. Whatevs, right after these 2 goobers pull away another SUV pulls up and 4 Jenny Craigs get out. The girl driving was a 7/10 and pretty cute but the JC's looked like they were wearing clothes that moms wear when they are preggerz. I sized them up and realized even though they were fatty bombas, they had potential if they hadn't hit Panchero's so hard last semester.

So I'm standing here texting like a big fucking faggot. I hate kids that text nonstop, the world is passing you by while you are talking to ur stupid friend about playing Mario Kart when you get back. Ne wayz I glance over at the clan of hippopotami just to you know, size them up again. As I make the glance one of them looks up and makes eye contact with me then kind of smiles. Oh no. Like 10 seconds after this, the girl starts talking about finding a boyfriend out at Iowa and how she has a lot of guy friends but that she wouldn't date any of them. I figure I shouldn't be listening to their conversation but whatever they were practically yelling. They continue talking about this for like 2 minutes then the bus comes. I can only pray the eye contact and the change in conversation was coincidence.

Proceeded onto the bus and sat in the back of the bus because I am a cool kid. Not that many seats in the back so I figure I'm safe. Wrong. Group of JC's come to the back and sit by me. Whatever, small bus. Now I'm just sitting their sweating and clutching my phone hoping that Drew will call me back so I can get the scoop on Second Act. It took about a minute of listening to these love starved girls talk about the last guy they hooked up with for Drew to come through when it counted. I tried to keep him on the phone for as long as possible, luckily he called me back twice because he kept getting more good news regarding where to find my costume. This made me look pretty fucking cool because only important people get 3 phone calls in 10 minutes. That and I was texting like a machine.

Bus ride went by quickly and I finally made it back to my room where the only fatties around are the ones I roll.

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